Worn, Broken, and Healed: An Arduous Trail to Health

Where to begin? I have always considered myself an active and athletic person. However, with more years under my belt and time to reflect on it, for the first thirty years of my life I realize that “active” does not necessarily equate to “healthy.” The idea of a “healthy” lifestyle was hardly a consideration in my earlier years. I played basketball and lacrosse in high school. I ran. I lifted weights, on occasion. So I suppose, in context, I was fit to a degree back then. But was I really healthy?

I believe that true health embodies more than mere diet and physical fitness, but in this context we’ll focus on the physical. Like so many, in my upbringing, food was food. I do not recall the notion that certain foods were healthier or unhealthier than others. Sure, perhaps there was the common wisdom that you should not eat too many sweets, and, oh, you should eat your vegetables because they are good for you; but there was a time when it did not concern me that maybe cookies and cheesecake did not constitute the best breakfast. Bowl after bowl of sugary, sweet cereals, or plate after plate of – whatever food – was never too much. Food was food. That is how I was raised to think. That is how I thought. But not anymore.

Something always happens to trigger an awakening. I recall, as a newlywed, taking slices of cheesecake to work for breakfast and eating cookies out of the vending machine for lunch. It was cheap and easy, and I was a poor, newlywed college student. Food is food right? Yeah, they were sweets, but they were simply hunger satiating calories. With my metabolism I wouldn’t gain weight, I thought. What’s the harm?

One day at work my tooth broke when I bit into a cookie…for breakfast. The tooth had rotted from the inside. What? Afterwards at home I remember looking in the mirror, and scale, and realized I had put on some weight and started to grow a belly. I believe I was around 195lbs then and growing; and it was not muscle. I looked like a slob. But I was active though right? I did Kung Fu. I still played basketball now and then. I wasn’t unhealthy, was I?

Then, on yet another fated day, something happened that triggered a revelation within me, a spark, the awakening to begin my ‘health’ journey. My wife and I were at a local park with our toddler. Running around with my child I felt winded and tired. I attempted to hold myself up on the monkey bars and traverse to the other end without touching the ground. I couldn’t lift and hold myself up in the air. My arms, my tendons, my muscles, everything, felt strained and hurt. I didn’t have the strength for it. I felt weak. What had happened to my supposed athleticism; my supposed health?

I decided I had to do something. So I began doing pushups again and running in the morning. My diet, however, was still not great. Food was still food. I could eat anything I wanted to now – I needed the calories as I was running again. I was ok, right?

My running became more consistent and serious. I ran further. I ran faster. I ran longer. I was feeling better, more conditioned. I felt healthier. I could pull myself up on the bars more easily – at least once. Pull-ups were still a chore. I was researching and learning about diet and exercise. My diet improved, to a degree. I started taking more protein – I’ll come back to this later – to better rebuild my sore muscles. I was eating much cleaner, I thought. Things were good and I was training harder. Perhaps too hard as I was also getting sick. A lot.

I had set the ultimate goal to run an ultra-marathon – a 50 miler. As I moved closer to my goal I dealt with occasional injuries, but worse, I was constantly getting sick. I got a cold about every other week. And it set me back time and time again and yet I persisted stubbornly. Sometimes the sickness would turn into a bad sinus infection and put me out for weeks setting me even further back in training. What was going on?

It became very discouraging, to say the least and this cycle continued over the course of month upon month to over a year and more. I had to cancel many races. Something was wrong but I didn’t know exactly what.

I took a lot of vitamin C hoping to boost my immune system in hopes that it would help. I ended up developing ulcers. I discovered that the absorbic acid in the vitamin pills had eaten away my stomach lining. Lesson learned.

The medical industry might have some answers, I hoped. I saw numerous doctors and specialists and they all said I was “healthy as a horse,” or said it was “just bad luck,” followed by “here take this pill.” I felt like no one truly listened or tried to understand my situation. Repeated sickness over the course of a year is not just back luck, nor is it normal! No doctor could help me figure out what was wrong. They would guess and propose some common infection and prescribe yet another antibiotic. Bleh.

I remember visiting with a popular ENT in the area and when he found out I was a runner, well, it turned out that he was an even better runner. I sat for near 15 minutes or more listening to HIS grand running adventures and accomplishments only to finally have him end with, “You likely just have a chronic sinus infection. Take these pills. You’ll be fine”. It was a disheartening experience.

To add fuel to my struggles I faced several other hardships. Amidst this time period, I threw out my back at a work activity. I could hardly walk. A trip to the ER revealed that I had no less than five slipped discs in my lower back. More discouragement and setback.

I healed the best I could. After a long recovery, I eventually tore a ligament in my left ankle playing basketball. It also took a very long time to fully recover. Meanwhile I was stubborn and persisted, as I was able, in my attempts at training, including some weightlifting, despite my health struggles. But then I got very sick.

One night we had a family gathering at our house for a birthday party. I had run that day and had thus far felt ok. I took my vitamins and protein shake throughout the day but by evening, during the party, I was drained. I felt absolutely fatigued and awful. I just wanted to lay down and not wake up again. Something was not right. Was I dying slowly? It actually felt that bad. My body had had enough. I could barely stand at one point. But I tried to persist the evening as though nothing were wrong, stubbornly, recklessly. Notice the theme of my enduring stubbornness…

As mentioned, and to no surprise, I got very sick. Soon after this experience I eventually came down with a high fever, severe stomach pains, and near passing out. I finally went to the Insta-care. Ugh, doctors. It turned out in this situation I had gotten a really bad case of strep throat. And it really did a number on my immune system.

After my recovery I was at a loss and desperate. I stopped any training and reached out to the community wherein someone suggested a highly recommended ENT. I decided to give a doctor another try.

At risk of sounded “ranty” I will simply say that real, true Doctors in the sense of the word are rare – people who listen, diagnose in wisdom, and who are true healers. Up to this point my experience with the medical field hadn’t been inspiring or helpful, but this ENT actually listened to me. He was an answer to prayer after a long self-imposed trial. Certainly I was to learn something through all of this.

After explaining my story, this doctor considered me sympathetically. Pausing, he looked at me, “Have you ever done an allergy test?” He was actually incredulous that the previous ENT had not ordered one. “No, never,” I answered. I had often wondered about allergies, including my wife suggesting it, but had never pursued it.

We did the allergy test. I discovered that I am allergic to a number of things but what stood out most was my allergy to cows milk and whey, especially. WHAT? When did this happen? Milk was supposed to do a body good. Stupid marketing. I had drunken cows milk my entire life with seemingly no issues. My body had somehow changed along the way because I’m sure I wasn’t allergic before. Regardless, it all clicked. I had been consuming a lot more protein along with my training. Whey protein. Ding. Ding. No wonder I felt strange after protein shakes and protein bars and dairy foods. And ultimately felt my body drag and suffer via the allergic reaction.

What a discovery. This was the revelation I needed. And I’m so grateful for an inspired doctor who listened. Once eliminating whey from my diet I became a new man. What a difference. No more bi-weekly sicknesses. The whey allergy had basically been setting my immune system to zero, so I would catch any sickness that came along.

In addition to this allergy discovery, we found that my tonsils had become festered and were thrashed. The ENT suggested I get them removed via a tonsillectomy. I will say that this turned out to be one of the most painful, humbling experiences of my life. I had no less than four women tell me that they would rather go through natural childbirth again than a tonsillectomy recovery as an adult. The recovery was so painful. In the end, having my tonsils removed also made a big difference in my health.

This was a new beginning for me. However, instead of pursuing hardcore running again I tempered myself and ran only moderately to keep up a good conditioning. I began to refocus on core, traditional calisthenics and body weight training – a traditional gym wasn’t my thing. I wavered in and out of ‘clean’ eating and just tried to keep up a decent physical condition.

Eventually I developed a renewed goal in my mind to add on more muscle mass, and this would enable my fitness through the process. During my hard endurance training I had dropped all the way down to 165 lbs at one point. At 6′ 3″ I was thin and lithe, a bit too much even more me. One good gust of wind and I might be blown away.

Through research I learned a lot about different diets and exercise to figure out what I could do to attain my goal. I began working out more consistently in my basement using various body weight exercises and the meager assortment of dumbbells that I own.

I also had to update my diet. I had learned by now that not all foods were created equal and can affect the body in different ways – good and bad. It mattered what I ate. So I tried to improve my diet and increase calories. Yet, my weight was always stagnate with no apparent progress towards my goal. I think I was feeling stronger but I felt like I was barely moving forward goal-wise.

It wasn’t until I discovered functional training that something clicked. I joined a gym that focused on core functional training and education on clean eating. This was a first for me. I never thought I would join a gym.

For three months I trained and worked out moderately. I tried more earnestly to increase my protein consumption and caloric intake with good calories. I gained 6 pounds and also trimmed down my body fat. I could tell visually. But more satisfying and more important than my mass gain and change in physical appearance, at my core I truly felt stronger, better, and healthier.

Results are motivating – even bad results can be. These real changes spurred an increased motivation and dedication within me. For the first time ever, I began keeping a dedicated food journal. No, I have never been a calorie counter, but I wanted an idea of where I was at in my diet. I needed to measure my protein and calorie intake to make sure I was getting enough. I learned that I had not been getting enough protein, let alone enough calories for my goals. This simple act refocused my dietary lifestyle allowing me to adjust and make the necessary changes to achieve my own personal fitness goals.

Another three months later I added an additional 6 lbs of mass. I went from 179lbs to 191lbs in six months, adding 3/4 inch to my arms. That may not seem significant to some but for me it was affirmation. It validated all my efforts, all my hard work and training. The functional training specifically changed me. Yes, results are motivating.

And here I am now. Throughout my entire journey over the years this is the best I have felt yet. I have more energy and my runs are so much stronger. Yes, running up a mountain is still hard but it truly feels like it requires less effort. This is a testament to me at all the positive changes from my training. Common actions and labors throughout the day feel better – I find myself doing one legged deadlift-type motions whenever I pick up something now. And it doesn’t hurt my back.

So why do I share all this? It’s not for pity. We all have our trials. If anything I have learned a number of lessons from my experiences and ideas that I’d like to point out and share:

1. Know thyself. Before we can change ourselves it is necessary to know ourselves. It is essential to be honest with ourselves when learning personal strengths and weakness to be able to address them and grow. Know your body. Know your limits. Until I discovered my whey allergy and addressed it, I was hopelessly kicking against the pricks and only hurting myself. I wasn’t progressing physically. Sometimes we have to hurt before we can feel better.
2. Everyone’s goals are different and relative to themselves. What is hard for me may be easy for you. And visa versa. Everyone is different, obviously. In knowing yourself, tailor goals relative to yourself and not ‘Joe Smith’ down the street.
3. Every journey is unique while also sharing similarities with others; but one thing is for sure, everyone will experience trials, set backs, and disappointments. Expect it. Endure, persist, learn from mistakes, overcome the hardships for they will come, and continue moving forward.
4. Doctors. Let’s skip this point. Really though, doctors have their place…some doctors, at least.
5. Wherever you are, start there. It is never too late. Start where you are and move forward from there. Even if it is just an inch forward, it is still progress.
6. There is no easy way. Results require effort. Make no excuses, put in the hard work and be consistent. Make a plan and stick to it. Take those personal goals and etch them onto your brain and heart to stay focused and motivated.
7. Balance. Finding balance in everything is vital. It wasn’t until I missed my wife’s vocal recital because of a long run that it hit me that my priorities were off and I wasn’t balanced – I thought I could finish the run on time but it took too long. Running had become an overly selfish pursuit and had taken priority even though I thought I could manage it. I realized during my journey that trying different things with diet and training always ended up hurting myself whenever they became out of balance: too much vitamin C, too much running, etc.. Keep it all in perspective and maintain balance. Discover what works for you to stay in balance and harmony with everything else in your life.

Personally I am extremely excited about the present path in my Health journey. Having gone through a lot to get to this point makes it even more meaningful. We cannot appreciate the joys without also knowing the pains first. It has been quite the learning and growing experience. And now I truly feel amazing.

In the context of physical fitness and health, my story may not be as severe or drastic as some other lifestyle situations out there, but it is no less significant. With so many people struggling with health issues, among other things, I feel inclined to share my experience in hopes to inspire and motivate others. It is never too late to start.